Fanfic, at last.

[stalkerbunny]

Title: The Bride Of The Lindorm King a'la Saiyuki
Author/artist: I did it, illustrations and all. :9
Disclaimer: But not the characters, that was Kazyua Minekura. *bow*
Pairing: 85, everything else is implied very lightly at most.
Warnings: Hee, for once there are some :'D The usual sex, cursing like, once :9 and violence. A bit.
But also, AU, humor (I hope). Guys get mistaken as ladies, some without even trying...oh, and some people get a better more cliche ending than Minekura would ever write. I'm just a sap like that. >_>;

Notes: This is probably the longest fic I've ever written, so excuse the babble ^_^; *jitters*
I've tried to write it since sometime last year, but it took this long to get to the point where I could actually write it.
It started out as a fusion with a particular favorite fairytale of mine, The Bride of the Lindorm King. Somehow in the fic writing process the story got mangled pretty badly, thought. Now it's more like any generic fairytale parody. :9
Still, go read the original, it's much better writing than this fic here.

Betaread by avierra and clytemnaestra, who are pure awesomecakes. Thank you~! :'D ♥


The Bride Of The Lindorm King a'la Saiyuki


The queen stared at the objects the soothsayer had given her, and wrinkled her royal nose at them.

"What is this, woman?" she asked.

The soothsayer held back a sigh and reminded himself to buy more candles. It was just so easy to forget...but really, surely he didn't look that feminine?
Oh well, he'd try to take it as a compliment.

"Two onions, your highness."

"I can see that! How are they supposed to help with my problem?"

"Well, tonight, or some other night, just as long as you do it before the onions go bad, you know..."

"Yes?" The queen's eyes had begun to narrow dangerously.

The soothsayer smiled at her.

"You eat the onions, and then go to...ah, to meet the King."

"That's all? I will have a child then?"

"Yes. Two, even."

"Hmph."

The soothsayer had the uncharitable thought that the queen would have liked a spell involving bloodletting better. Too bad for her.

"Fine. You will be paid later. If it works." Then she gathered her lavish skirts with a sniff and strode away from the dark, smoky room, barely remembering to duck her head under the low doorway this time.

"Oh, and one more..."

But the queen was gone, and only the rattling of her carriage wheels could be heard.

The soothsayer sighed, and took a long pull of his pipe.

"Damn." He mumbled and looked around his humble abode. Oh well, perhaps it had been high time to move on anyway.

*

"Goku, wait, damn it!"

Prince Sanzo of Drake frowned after the younger man, but he'd already disappeared into the forest. He huffed and set out to follow the trail of broken branches and trampled moss. Sanzo wasn't one for searching for the positive side of things, but even he had to admit that of the two annoying pastimes...well, looking for Goku was preferable to listening to his mother harping on about finding a wife.

Which was what he was supposed to be doing right now.

As if.

And the trail had disappeared. Sanzo frowned at the uncooperative undergrowth, and did not think about any stories of a monster living in the woods.

"Goku?" He asked. "Come back right now or..." He stopped to think.

"Actually, forget it, I'm going home." He turned resolutely and made it five steps, until there was a rustling of leaves, and the boy slid down from the tree he'd been hiding in.

"You're just no fun," Goku said, only the briefest note of insecurity in his eyes. Back when they'd first met, a trick like that one...well, it was good to see the boy had grown up since.

Sanzo gave him a slight whack over the head anyway, just on principle.

"We're not playing hide or seek here, how old are you anyway?"

"I have no idea." Goku answered cheerfully, and danced away to evade another hit, grinning all the while.


No one did know how old he was. It had been hard to tell, from the half-starved little thing Sanzo had found in the ship. A slave ship, the owner of which had made the mistake of trying to cheat Queen Gyokumen. Sanzo had personally found the man a disgusting worm to begin with and after seeing the inside of that ship...well, he'd thought it almost a pity he'd killed their captor before the slaves got to him. The ones who were still in any shape to move anyway. Or alive at all.

A faintest cold shudder found him at the memory of it, still.

He'd thought Goku was one of the dead ones, at first. Right until he'd opened those eyes of his, nearly shining in the light of the lamp Sanzo was holding. Goku had reached out for something, the light, perhaps, and opened his mouth around a word Sanzo wasn't familiar with.

He'd recovered amazingly fast, but hadn't spoken in a long time, and when he did, it was in a language Sanzo didn't understand at first.

Now he said he remembered nothing of his past life. Maybe that was for the best.


"Sanzooo..."

"What?" Sanzo snapped. Goku grinned at him, his eyes crinkling. He was walking backwards, and Sanzo expected him to trip on a root. Any time now would be good.

"You were woolgathering.” Goku explained teasingly.

"Pft, as if you were saying anything worth listening to."

"How would you know if you weren't listening?"

"Tch."

Sanzo looked away from the annoyingly happy face. Happy and golden brown, like the sun had gotten under his skin. That always seemed to happen in the summer.

"So, I was wondering if there really is a monster here," Goku explained, hopefully.

"Probably not. Who told you so?"

"The cook did. She said people say it was first seen, or heard actually, the night you were born. Except she thought maybe it was the queen. And when I asked her why, she said because she made such an awful racket. Um, sorry, Sanzo."

"Ha, no need to apologize. But in any case, it's total-"

"Oh, is that so?" said a cold voice behind them.



The dragon reared up, a graceful, terrifying column of scaled skin. The scales were deep green, and Sanzo could find no soft flesh between them anywhere in sight. As it reared up, the dragon's head brushed the branches of the trees, and then it lowered a bit, to look Sanzo straight in the eye.

Sanzo had pulled his sword out instinctively, but when the dragon spoke again, its voice was coolly amused.

"Do lower your sword, your highness. It won't help you any."

"Sanzo!" Goku yelled out, alarmed. He had his sword out as well. The large amber eyes of the dragon flickered that way, and then back to Sanzo.

"And do advise your squire to calm down. Or he might get...hurt."

"Goku. Do not do anything."

"But..."

"Nothing."

Sanzo could see from the corner of his eye that Goku stood still now, though he looked unhappy about it. "Fine, what do you want?" he asked the dragon.

It blinked at him and then cocked its head sideways, just barely, the barest note of sarcasm in the reptilian calm of the reply. "Are you not happy, to meet your brother at long last?"

*

Goku ran into the courtroom, and into Lord Kougaiji as well. The older man managed to stay on his feet, thought it was a near thing.

Then he frowned as Goku tried to catch his breath.

"Has something happened? Is Prince Sanzo..."

"He's okay. But we...we met a dragon! It was huge and scaly and it spoke to Sanzo, though I couldn't hear it, and it says-"

That was when Sanzo arrived, almost as out of breath as Goku had been, as if he'd just stopped running before he stepped in. He headed towards Goku with long steps.

"-it said Sanzo's its brother! And that he can't get married before it has!" Goku concluded.

Sanzo stopped abruptly and pinched the bridge of his nose as if he had a headache.

A sudden silence had descended on the courtroom. Even the terrified-looking maid that queen Gyokumen had just been chastising had turned to look. The queen herself had gone very pale, and then very red.

*

Gojyo stared at the moving scenery from a gap in the carriage. He was sharing it with two goats, which were friendly enough, but which smelled bad. As in, really bad. He stuck his nose closer to the gap even if the air outside consisted mostly of dust, and then scratched where the coarse, unfamiliar fabric of the dress was itching. At least he hoped it was just the dress, Gojyo thought, and looked suspiciously at the goats.

"You two don't have any fleas, do you?" he mumbled.

Though he supposed he'd soon have bigger problems than fleas, anyway. Like the size of a dragon.

He could hear voices and inched closer to the front, reluctantly leaving the gap and the fresher air.

The driver of the carriage was saying something. He was a talkative man, apparently, and even Gojyo's mother’s silence hadn't killed that off quite yet.

"-it's a pity, such a pretty young thing as that, though I suppose the...the hair and the eyes scare some."

There was an awkward silence, and Gojyo winced. They did not talk about it at home.

"It's an abomination," Gojyo's mother said finally, her voice stony and quiet.

"You must have had a hard time with that, Mistress Sha."

"Yes..."


Gojyo wondered what Jien had thought when he'd come home and they were gone. He didn't know if mom had left a message. They'd left so quickly, but she had hidden money and other things, so she must have been planning for it a while.

When she told him they were leaving and dragged him away by the hand, Gojyo hadn't asked where they were going. Part of him had thought...had thought maybe this was it, the end. Mom had seemed so calm, though, so resolved and… nearer to happy than Gojyo had ever seen her, in his company.

Maybe Jien had been relieved, as well. He looked so tired sometimes, when Mom was being difficult, or when Gojyo had got into trouble again, or when there just plain wasn't enough of something. All the time, these days.

Gojyo closed his eyes and tried to sleep in the jostling carriage. Tomorrow he'd try to escape.


*

Gojyo woke up to a light shining into his eyes.

"Come on...girl. It's time to go."

He let mom drag him away, too sleepy and sore from the carriage to resist. They were in a village now, bigger than the one Gojyo had lived near. The streets had stones on them, even. Jien had said he remembered those from where their family had lived when he was very young. There were street vendors too, and Gojyo's stomach informed him he hadn't eaten anything since yesterday. Mom clearly didn't intend to stop, though.

"Mistress, if I may have a moment of your time?" A man had appeared out of nowhere.

"Get your hands of me, old man!"

The man held his hands up, placating. "Please, I meant no offense, mistress. Merely wished to welcome you back to Drake."

For a second mom looked almost startled, and then her gaze went flat and cold again.

"I have never been here before. And I have no money for you to steal or cheat away, so just leave me alone."

After that she pushed along, not looking back. So she didn't see that the man who'd stopped them took a few quick steps along behind them.

"Do take this, young man, you look like you might need it," the man whispered, and held out a round package with a wink. Before Gojyo had time to even thank him, he'd disappeared among the throng.

"Gojyo, don't linger," his mother said. Gojyo stuffed the package quickly inside his dress.


He found no chances to look at it until late that evening. Apparently one couldn't just waltz in to see the court, who knew. Mom had bought a room that had a door that could be locked, and no windows. It was stuffy and small, but at least Gojyo got some time alone finally. He pulled out the round package, and unwrapped it hopefully. The man had had a certain air around him, as if he might be a wizard or something. Like...a spell against dragons, or...an onion.

What the hell.

No wait, there was something written on the brown paper it was wrapped in. Good thing Jien had forced Gojyo to learn to read. Nevertheless, it took him a while to understand it all...and then go through again to see he hadn't misunderstood.

The text said: "It's not good to be too hasty, neither to judge or to consume. In other words, a raw onion may be eye watering and a dragon might be fierce, but both are easier to handle if you remember to peel them. As many layers as you need."

Gojyo stared at the message. Great, it was some sort of crazy advertisement tactic. He stared dourly at the onion, and threw it at the wall. It hit it, fell down and rolled back towards him. A moment later Gojyo sighed and picked the damn thing up again, because he was still hungry, damn it.


*


Well, at least he got to visit a court before his death. Woohoo, Gojyo thought dryly as they finally stepped into the large room. He refused to be either impressed or to feel under dressed and dirty in the noble company. Much. At least he was wearing a disguise.
They were led in front of three seats. One was empty, and he supposed the two people were Queen Gyokumen and Prince Sanzo. The queen looked like she was smelling something bad, and the Prince looked just sort of pissed off and like he'd much rather be somewhere else. Gojyo supposed he could sympathize with that, at least.

There was a long silence until mom spoke.

"I am Lady Sha, and have come here to give my daughter as a bride to the dragon."

She'd straightened her back suddenly, and her voice was ringing. Gojyo stared: he had never seen or heard her like this. When mom curtsied, it looked...like it might not be out of place here, if not for her stained, old clothes.

The queen looked her up and down, her mouth twisting into a contemptuous smile.

"Sha? I see, the wife of the one who was driven away in disgrace. How low you have fallen."

"My family served Queen Ratsetsunyo loyally until her death." Mom answered, her voice still clear and calm as an icy river.

The queen rose to her feet, and stepped forward menacingly.

"Do not dare to utter that name in my court!" the queen screamed, and took another step forward. Gojyo looked between her and his mother, wondering who he should help if there was a fight.

"Mother, is this necessary?" An annoyed voice interrupted the scene. It was Prince Sanzo. "We will simply bring the girl to the dragon, as all the others, and he will refuse...either refuse or accept her." The prince's eyes met Gojyo's briefly, but he couldn't interpret the look in them at all.


The following night, he found himself in another locked room. Granted, it was at the castle and he'd been fed, and given a bath, even. He'd drawn the line at being helped in the bathing, no matter how cute the girls had been, because hey, not an option.

But castle or not, it was still a locked room. Only way out was via the balcony, and one would arrive at ground level a lot more flat than they started.

Of course, they might have let him go if they'd realized he was, well, a he. Then again, there was that reward Mom had taken with her. Everyone knew royal people were stingy in general and Queen Gyokumen in particular. She did bad things to people who tried to cheat her.

So, not an option either.

Gojyo leaned moodily onto the balcony railing, until he realized that in the dress he must look like one of those maidens in a goddamn fairytale. Well, fuck that.

As Gojyo pondered his sorry fate, there was a rustling sound, a faint snap, and a startled yelp. Then something heavy fell on Gojyo.

"What the hell!"

"Uh, sorry, miss! I was climbing on the wall and the vine snapped and, um, don't tell Sanzo, please? He'll be really mad if he finds out I was climbing again and..."

"Hey, take a breath and listen for a moment here."

"Yes?"

"Could you please get off me?"

"Oh, Oh! Right, sorry about that too. Ahaha."

The boy who'd fallen off the wall did finally climb to his feet, and Gojyo got a better look at him. Brown hair, brown skin, large, nearly yellow eyes, kinda on the small side, though not quite a kid anymore.

Maybe.

"So, uh, my name is Goku, nice to meet you." The boy's eyes flickered to his hair, and widened. Gojyo winced, here it came again, the fear and the contempt...

"Wow, your hair is really red! Is it hot? Because it looks like it would be! Oh, it's not."

The freak had just touched his hair. What? If this was some kind of crazy attempt to woo him...Gojyo looked at the wide innocent eyes in front of him. Okay, maybe it wasn't. Thank god.

"Wow, you climb around on walls, are you a squirrel?" Gojyo asked, because he'd still been startled.

"I'm not!"

The boy pouted about that, and then seemed to remember something.

"You're going to see the dragon tomorrow, right?"

"Right."

"So, um, I was told I shouldn't say anything, but...well, it's not as bad as people say. Actually," and here the boy, Goku, lowered his voice conspiratorially, "It's Sanzo's brother. And don't ask me how but Sanzo said so and he believes it anyway."

Gojyo thought about the man he'd seen briefly in the courtroom, and wondered if this information should make him feel relieved.

Somehow it quite didn't.


Before they could discuss it more, though, there was a knock on the door. The boy twitched guiltily.

"I'd better go. Good luck with the dragon!"

Then he was up the wall again and away. Gojyo felt dizzy just looking at it. No way he'd try that. He went to the door instead, where someone was still knocking persistently.

"The door's locked, I can't open it!" He yelled through the heavy wooden door, and soon enough someone turned a key in the lock.



It was an old woman, carrying a heavy bunch of dresses, and wearing almost as many garments herself. Even her face was covered by both a veil and a scarf. She cackled when Gojyo asked, politely as he knew how, what on earth she was doing there.

"Yer wedding dresses, my dear! Yer wedding dresses. You weren't about to go in that, were you? It's a dragon of royal blood, after all, have to look nice and pretty." Then she cackled again and dumped the pile of dresses on Gojyo's bed.

"I get to choose?"

"No, my dear, you wear them all."

"...It's not that cold."

"Ay, but a dragon's heart may just be that cold. It's a male one though, and them males like a bit of...well, let's say they like the charm of the unknown. Teases their senses, you know."

Gojyo had the horrible feeling he was being leered at, even if he couldn't in fact see it. Urgh.

"Say, do you like onions?" the old woman asked absently. What was it with people around here and onions anyway? Right, she had to be a bit soft in the head.

"Uh, sure."

He thought for a moment. Maybe there was actually something there...

"Is there some connection between onions and dragons?" Gojyo asked finally.

"Sure there is, my dear. Both tend to have a nasty outer layer or two, don't you know." The woman sounded suddenly quite sharp, despite her words.

"I don't get it."

"Can't help you then, I'm afraid. I'll just say, you better ask for no less than you'll give in any bargain. That rule works in any working relationship."

After this piece of helpful advice the old woman left, leaving Gojyo quite baffled. And thoughtful.

Outside his door, the "old woman" straightened up and stalked away, suddenly seeming a lot less old. If anyone had been there to listen, they might have heard the figure muttering: "The things one does for a bet..."


*


"So, another one, then?" the dragon said. Gojyo felt it was all a bit anticlimactic, even if the dragon spoke straight to his thoughts or something. Apparently eye contact was needed.

"I'll leave you two to get to know each other then," Prince Sanzo said gruffly and promptly rode away. Goku waved at Gojyo. He didn't find it very encouraging. Damn the over-optimistic squirrel-boy anyway.

The dragon was still looking at him. It didn't have much in the way of expressions, but Gojyo got the vague impression of benign, polite indifference. It kinda pissed him off.

"Why did you come here?" the dragon asked.

"Uh...my mom made me." It was hard to lie with your thoughts.

"I see. Don't be afraid, you may go." The dragon turned away.

"Hey!" It turned back.

"Yes?"

"Is that it? You'll just let me go?"

"It's what I always do."

"Huh. What about..." Right, he supposed the stories of gnawed bones were just that. Just like the ones of people with red hair and eyes.

The dragon inclined its head, and its mental voice was almost amused.

"Are you disappointed?"

"No, I just don't get it. You really think some girl would become your wife willingly? Uh, I mean, no offense, you're a very, um, handsome dragon, but...well, still a dragon. You know."

"I do."

Gojyo thought about it. "Are you really the prince's brother?" he asked finally.

"Yes. After I was born...I believe my mother threw me out the window."

"Ouch. She's a...not a very nice woman, from what I've seen."

"Well, the general public shares her opinion of dragons, as you pointed out.” Again, there it was said in a darkly amused tone. Not a very happy one.

"I've been called a monster too, you know," something made him say.

"Why on earth? Ah, I see."

"Yeah." Gojyo shrugged. Now that he wasn't afraid for his life anymore, his dresses felt too hot again. The dragon's eye seemed drawn to them too.

It slithered closer.

"You're not afraid of me?" The dragon's voice was full of wonder.

"No, I guess not. Just...careful there," he said, because it was really close now. So close, in fact, that he could see the scales up close. They were deep green, and shimmered like those of a fish. He couldn't help reaching out to touch one.

"Ow." Who knew? Dragons had sharp scales.

Then the dragon licked his bleeding finger. Gojyo stared at the slitted tongue, and his gaze moved over the sharp snout to the inhuman, amber eyes.

"I'm sorry. The uppermost scales are very sharp."

"Oh." Something about that..."Can you take it off?" Gojyo asked.

"I...if you'll take off one of those dresses?" the dragon replied. Maybe it was a joke, because it seemed slightly startled when he did.

Hey, Gojyo had dresses to spare.

The dragon shedding his skin was kinda...okay, it looked pretty freaky. But the scales underneath were a paler shade of green, like young leaves.

"It's not as sharp, see."



It wasn't.

Gojyo tried one scale gingerly, and when his hand wasn't cut this time, he moved it over a few others. Then he followed the small, intricate patterns around the snout, and the dragon shuddered, averting its eyes. Gojyo took his hand away quickly.

"Sorry."

"It's nothing, I'm simply unused to...to touch. And that area is quite sensitive."

"Did I hurt you?"

"Not at all..."

That had sounded almost...embarrassed. Oh.

The large eyes flickered towards his, and away again, as if the dragon wanted to ask something but didn't dare.

Gojyo felt a smile tugging at his lips.

"What is it?" he asked gently.

"I should not ask."

"Please do."

"I...would you take another dress off?"

Gojyo thought about it. This seemed to be going in a direction that...oh, to hell with it, maybe he wanted to see what it was.

"If you'll do the same."


Of course, when the clothes start coming off...it wasn't really such a mystery. Not to Gojyo. Even if he'd never tried this game with a large snakelike creature.

He had only one more dress left, and wasn't entirely sure it was covering...everything, but that was still a pretty big step. Something (a tail?) was curled around his leg, moving slowly upwards, and the dragon's head was curled over his shoulder. It had gotten somehow smaller, at some point Gojyo had missed. Wasn't as cool and collected as before either. In fact, its body seemed nearly feverish. The dragon brushed its head into his jaw, shuddering all over. Then it drew back, to be able to look into his eyes again.

"Your skin, it's so warm." He heard the whisper as the yellow eyes found his for a moment. It sounded reverent and desperate in equal measure.

"More, please."

"Uh...you know, there's something I..."

Was that how dragons laughed, this warm, shuddery feeling spreading through him? It felt good, so good it distracted him completely for a long moment.

"You're a man, of course. I've known for a while now."

"Ah, okay."

"Now, the clothes. Please."

"Yes, yes, anything, just, just..."

"Hmm?"

"Stop doing that...that thing with your tail."

"I'm sorry."

"No, just don't want this over too soon, okay?"

"Oh..."

Dragons were bad at taking instructions too, apparently. Gojyo closed his eyes and leaned back into the warm coils embracing him. This all should feel much stranger than it did, he supposed. Couldn't think of that right now. The coils curled tighter around him, and a blunt snout poked at his face, but Gojyo was too far gone to react. And then...a strange shift in reality, and suddenly there was a warm, moist human breath fanning his face, and hands around him instead of a scaly body. Huh?

"Open your eyes, please, please." He did.

Green eyes, dark hair, pale skin flushed pink. Damn. The green eyes widened and the dragon lifted one of his new hands before his face.

"Oh. The curse is gone?" He looked at Gojyo, and did he imagine it or was there a glint of amber somewhere in the green?

"You broke the curse! Does that mean I get to keep you?"

Was he a...a hoard or something? Then again...

"Dunno. We can discuss that. Later."

"Mm, yes, later."


It didn't take long for the dragon to figure out all the ways to use a human body. Especially his hands, god, they seemed to be everywhere at once, just like the coils earlier. Gojyo meant to take charge of the situation, show the newcomer around, but somehow he forgot all about that. At that point the dress was a distant memory as well.

Suddenly it was a bit colder, and when Gojyo opened his eyes he found the dragon leaning over him, his head cocked in the way of a man at a banquet table, considering what to sample first. The green eyes found his, and crinkled in a smile, as if he could still read Gojyo's thoughts.

"Now you may close your eyes if you wish to," the dragon said quietly.

Then he bent lower to kiss him, as the fingers of his right hand pressed lightly against his ribs. The kisses moved downwards from there, soft and feathery, interspersed by light bites and licks. In the meantime, the fingers hovered about, brushing his pelvis and thigh and then moving inwards and upwards, maddeningly close to his erection but not quite there.

Gojyo hit his head against the ground in frustration.

"Could you speed this up a little?"

"Hm? Certainly."

"Thank..."

At that moment the dragon moved his hand and his mouth right where they were most needed, and Gojyo lost the end of the sentence forever, because... hot and wet and damn.

His hips wanted to move up and weren't held back at all. Was that okay? The dragon couldn't have done this before and...he made himself pull away, gasping at the feeling.

"Hey, are you okay?"

The dragon blinked at him and pulled back more with one last lick at Gojyo's cock.

"I don't see the problem." He seemed to think for a while. "Actually, in my old form I was able to put much bigger things in my mouth than you'd believe. It's a snake thing, I suppose. "

"Ah, okay." Gojyo wriggled. This was more information than he needed right now, really.

The dragon appraised the spread once more, and bent to lick the straining erection again. He did that until Gojyo was moaning and his cock was leaking.

It was very difficult to piece the words together, but it had to be said.

"If you don't get on with it I will die. Please."

Green eyes widened at him.

"Well, that won't do."

And yes, that was definitely deeper and harder and Gojyo possibly hit his head against the ground when he came but couldn't say for sure afterwards. The dragon kept sucking him until Gojyo sighed and pulled at his hair to say it was getting a bit too much.

"The human sense of taste isn't quite as fine tuned. Pity, you taste very good," the dragon said, licking his lips.

If his brains hadn't just been turned to useless mush, Gojyo might have said something witty about dragons eating helpless maidens. As it was, he said, "guh."

The grin he got in answer was positively evil. And then the face of the dragon turned, considering again. "What shall we do then?" it asked, in a strangely innocent way.

Gojyo thought about it.

"Well..."


In the end, he found the dragon almost as much wrapped around himself as it had been in its old body, and still speaking, the latter of which he'd maybe need to work on in the future but not right now.
"Touching is so good, you feel so good outside and," a thrust deeper, "inside. Too good. Ah!"

The dragon held Gojyo even tighter as he came, almost tight enough to hurt, burying his head in Gojyo's shoulder.

"You will be mine, right?" the dragon whispered, almost brokenly.

Gojyo thought about that. If anything, he thought his problem was not knowing when to leave.

"I wasn't going anywhere right now." Then, after a moment.

"Except, you know, maybe to clean up later, so you'll have to let go for that bit."

*

So, later, after they'd figured out the problem of having plenty of dresses but nothing else, which was a long story we won't go into here (or ever, if Gojyo was asked), they returned to the court. As they stepped into the yard, there was a sudden yell, and Gojyo found himself enveloped in a hug.

"Gojyo! You're..." Jien pulled back and looked him over. His eyes narrowed. "You've been up to something."

"And I'm okay, thanks. What the hell are you doing here?"

"Saving my little brother from being eaten by the dragon."

"I'm afraid you're a bit late for that,” the dragon said cheerfully.

Gojyo most definitely did not blush at that, dammit.

Jien was looking at the dragon now. "And you are?"

"The dragon, of course."

Jien looked between them, and then he sighed and patted Gojyo on the shoulder.

"Well, you're done for then. Good luck on that." He directed the next words to the dragon. "And good luck for you on keeping this one out of trouble, I sure never could."


When he got over his mortal embarrassment, Gojyo got to take a better look at his brother as well. He was looking a tad more bruised than he remembered.

"Where did you get all banged up then?" Gojyo winced slightly at the unintended double entendre.

"I met an obstacle while trying to find out where you were. Lord Kougaiji here, in fact."

A young man, who Gojyo hadn't been paying attention to before that, nodded his head solemnly.

"And you lost?" Gojyo asked raising his eyebrows. This lord didn't look like much, to be honest.

"I, uh, underestimated him a bit," Jien mumbled.

"It was a good fight," Lord Kougaiji said, smiling faintly.

Further discussion was impeded by the arrival of Prince Sanzo and the boy who apparently followed him everywhere. Sanzo's sharp eyes looked them over, raised an eyebrow at Gojyo, and then zoned in on the dragon.

"You were the dragon before, right?" he said, going straight to the point.

The dragon inclined his head.

"The queen will find out about this soon," Sanzo noted. Something in his tone suggested the dragon might not want to be on the premises then. The dragon smiled in a tight-lipped way.

"Good, I wanted a word with her."

"Hm."

There was a moment of silence, then Sanzo spoke again. "I looked over some records. The queen apparently intended to name you Gonou, so if you wish to use that name..."

"I don't," the dragon said promptly.

Sanzo smiled minutely. "Can't say I liked it either."

"Do you have a better idea?"

"How about...Hakkai?"

The dragon considered this, then looked over at Gojyo.

"Sounds okay to me," Gojyo said and shrugged. It would be nice to be able to call him something.

"Hakkai it is then," Hakkai, who used to be the dragon, concluded.


*

It got very quiet when the other Prince of Drake stepped into the courtroom. Gojyo followed him, feeling strangely self-conscious in normal clothes. Luckily, no one was paying much attention to him.

"My son, you have returned to me at last!" The queen cried out. Hakkai looked her up and down, not looking like he was feeling much in the way of warm filial feelings.

"I wasn't very far away, as you must have heard," he said dryly.

"Ah, never mind that now. But, where is your bride, my son?"

Gojyo pulled his hat lower, but the queen was apparently disregarding his existence anyway.

"Well, about that..." Hakkai started. "In fact, we decided getting married was not really necessary, so I'm afraid that's not going to happen."

The queen frowned. "What do you mean, not going to happen?"

Hakkai leveled a calm gaze on her. It was just as effective as if he'd still been scaly and had sharp teeth behind it. "Just that."

Then he adopted a cheerful smile, and went on.

"I'm afraid the deal is still in effect, though, so my brother can't marry either. Sorry about that." The last was directed towards Prince Sanzo, who took it remarkably stoically.

Goku seemed more worried about the whole thing. He tugged at Sanzo's sleeve.

"Sanzo, is that okay? I mean, it doesn't seem fair..." he hissed in a whisper that could be heard far and wide, earning himself a glare from the person in question.

"I can live with it just fine."

"Really?"

"Yes really, now shut up."

The queen was still struck mute, but then seemed to gather herself.

"Now, let’s be reasonable. A king must be married to have a son to rule after him."

"That's not really my problem, or Prince Sanzo's, but our elder brother's."

"What! But you have no..."

"I'm sorry, my elder half-brother, the son of my father and queen Ratsetsunyou."

Queen Gyokumen drew herself back, eyes sparking in anger.

"That...she never had a child," she spat out.

Gojyo inched closer to Hakkai, because the queen seemed pretty damn dangerous at that moment. Hakkai didn't blink an eye, though.

"I've heard from a reliable source she did. It is merely that you threw him into the river, before replacing the child with...oh, I believe it was a snake, was it, mother?"

The queen had gone pale, as a storm of whispers rose among the people present.

"Lies," she hissed. And then smiled arrogantly. "In any case, you have no proof, and even if you did...a dead child cannot rule a country."

Hakkai turned towards the audience. "Prince Kougaiji, if you would step forward now?" Hakkai said calmly.

Kougaiji did as asked, walking the short distance to stand at Hakkai's side, looking faintly uncomfortable at the whole thing.

Jien stepped out to stand next to Gojyo as well.

"That woman is dangerous," he mumbled to Gojyo, as if he couldn't see it himself. "And Lord Kougaiji's a good man, wouldn't want anything to..." His voice faded away. It was a charged situation all right.

But no matter how murderous Queen Gyokumen looked, no one expected the knife she pulled out, or the sudden dash towards Kougaiji.

"No!" Jien cried out, but it wasn't him who stopped the knife, and it wasn't Hakkai either.

It was Mistress Sha.

No one was sure, even later, where she'd come from. Gojyo and Jien said that their mother could be very fast when she wanted to be, and that was all they would say about it.

At that moment, though, she seemed to have materialized out of thin air, like an avenging ghost. Mistress Sha looked at the knife poking out of her own chest, and then promptly pulled it out. She grinned at Queen Gyokumen with bloody teeth, and as she spoke, her voice rattled with it. Nevertheless, her voice was victorious through and through.

"Fine, I don't mind being killed by you. But I'll damn well be the last."

And with those words she swung the knife, still red with her own blood, and cut Gyokumen's neck clean through. She took a wavering step back from the spreading puddle, and only then crumpled to the ground.

Her sons caught her before she could touch it, though.

"Oh, Jien...one last kiss, my dear?"

"Certainly, Mother," he mumbled, and kissed her on the lips. She turned towards Gojyo then, her face going blank. She raised a bloody hand, and touched his forehead, leaving a red smear. Her eyes widened in surprise. Then she laughed, blood bubbling to her lips.

"I..I was wrong, it's...it's not the same..." Her hand fell to the floor, and her eyes froze onto that look of revelation. After a moment, Gojyo reached out a shaking hand to close them. Jien gave a single choked sob, and lowered his face. Gojyo reached out to hug him over their mother's body, and there they were, their whole family for one last time.



A while later a woman came to them, bowing respectfully.

"My condolences at your loss. I'm Yaone, Lord Kougaiji's servant and apothecary. I would take care of your mother if I may."

Jien frowned at her.

"You...you don't have to do that."

"I would do so myself if Yaone here would not do it better," Kougaiji said quietly. His voice was calm but his eyes were sorrowful. "She died defending me, as her brother did defending my mother. I only wish I could have repaid any part of that loyalty while she lived."

Gojyo took one look at Jien, and realized he'd follow Kougaiji to hell and back now. Good thing someone would uphold the family tradition, he supposed.

*

Much later, Gojyo felt a hand on his shoulder. It was the...it was Hakkai, with a strangely uncertain look on his face.

"I'm sorry," Hakkai said. "I can't help feeling..."

"No, stop that right there. It was not your fault," Gojyo said almost angrily, and then scrubbed at his face. "Look, this might sound bad but...this is how mom would have wanted to go, I think." It was better than she'd lived, he didn't say, the words tasted bitter enough in his head.

"Besides, you lost a mother today as well."

"I never had one," Hakkai said flatly.

Gojyo shook his head.

"Don't say that. Just because she wasn't a good mother..."

Hakkai just shook his head stubbornly.

"Okay, you know what, never mind," Gojyo conceded finally.

Hakkai was still looking at him in that worried way.

"Okay, what gives?" Gojyo asked finally, when the silence got to him.

"I've never been a human before," Hakkai blurted out, "I'm not sure I know how."

Gojyo stared at him for a moment, and then he found himself smiling. "It's not really that hard."

Hakkai frowned. "How will I know if I'm doing something wrong?"

"Well, people tend to look at you funny if you...you know, do something weird." Gojyo thought about it some more. "Except some people will look at you funny even if you're not doing anything wrong at all. Just because they're idiots. So..." He looked at Hakkai, who seemed to be reading his thoughts again, because a smile was dawning on his face. Or maybe he was just too perceptive for his own good. Gojyo was beginning to think so.

"I really am stuck looking after you, aren't I?"

"Yes. Actually, I'd say it's your responsibility for luring me out of my skin."

"You mean you did it consciously...I knew it! Curse my ass."

"Watch out Gojyo, someone might hear you and take you at your word!"

"And you'd mind that, I'm sure."


*

No one paid any attention to the two wizards who broke away from the throng still gathered in and around the courtroom, or saw them walk away.

"I suppose it's a sort of happy ending, anyway," the older one said thoughtfully.

"Except for Queen Gyokumen, you mean. Pity, I kind of liked her," the other mused.

"So I've heard."

"Jealous?"

"Why would I be? She was hardly my type."

"Haha, very funny."

They walked a moment in silence.


"And to think none of it would have happened if you only gave better instructions," the younger wizard said finally, scratching at his dark hair nonchalantly.

"Now, it's not my fault Her Highness was in too much of a hurry to listen."

"Riiight. By the way, that onion you gave to the lucky "maiden"...that didn't happen to be magical too?"

The older wizard got the worried look of a person who is wondering if they did remember to extinguish that candle, and then laughed. "Oh no, of course not. That would hardly be necessary, would it?"

"You mean you aren't curious if it would work on a man?"

"Haha, only you would be curious of such a thing. Sorry to disappoint, but I keep the onions firmly separate. Normal ones in the brown basket, magical in the yellow."

"Unless someone exchanged them."

"Yes, unless...you didn't!"

"Hmm-m. Why, they did seem so happy together, don't you think?"