whiny whine
Dec. 8th, 2006 03:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stalkerbunnyI think I won't even talk about the upcoming decision of where my life is going next (and...all that...urgh...I'll avoid it just a moment longer)
Let's concentrate on the small problems. Like, how do you make friends? I didn't make a single new friend in my three+ years in highschool, even thought I met lots of nice people there (I'll miss the atmosphere...sigh).
It's just so difficult to...Sure I can talk to people, in the right situation, with the right excuse (for example, were in a classroom and were are told to discuss something/ there's nothing better to do while drawing/doing something else. Or I'm with a friend who has other friends AND I have something to say).But to actually go to a group of people and just start talking with them, EVEN when I just spoke with them on the class prior to this...I often just can't gather the courage. Because what if they would like to talk by themselves, or think I'm boring, or just annoying? That's why it's most difficult to talk to people i'd most like to be friends with, because I'm not...funny, or cool, or terribly interesting (probably).
It's exactly the same in the internet...almost.
I'm not good at taking risks. Sometime in school it was taught that you shouldn't do things (like take drugs) because your friends do, even if they try to pressure you, and I remember thinking: "If a friend of mine did that, i'd just dump them, no problem." Of course, not like would really have friends like that, anyway. Because I'm careful, and not that social. I'm the one who stayed at school when the whole class decided to just go home, because I didn't want to get in trouble.
I think the real problem is that I have lousy self esteem, but how would you know for sure? (maybe I'm just lazy)
On a more immediate note. I just had my lower wisdom teeth removed so now: 1. my face is swollen, and even uglier than normally 2. It's difficult to eat, or speak, or laugh...ouch
Let's concentrate on the small problems. Like, how do you make friends? I didn't make a single new friend in my three+ years in highschool, even thought I met lots of nice people there (I'll miss the atmosphere...sigh).
It's just so difficult to...Sure I can talk to people, in the right situation, with the right excuse (for example, were in a classroom and were are told to discuss something/ there's nothing better to do while drawing/doing something else. Or I'm with a friend who has other friends AND I have something to say).But to actually go to a group of people and just start talking with them, EVEN when I just spoke with them on the class prior to this...I often just can't gather the courage. Because what if they would like to talk by themselves, or think I'm boring, or just annoying? That's why it's most difficult to talk to people i'd most like to be friends with, because I'm not...funny, or cool, or terribly interesting (probably).
It's exactly the same in the internet...almost.
I'm not good at taking risks. Sometime in school it was taught that you shouldn't do things (like take drugs) because your friends do, even if they try to pressure you, and I remember thinking: "If a friend of mine did that, i'd just dump them, no problem." Of course, not like would really have friends like that, anyway. Because I'm careful, and not that social. I'm the one who stayed at school when the whole class decided to just go home, because I didn't want to get in trouble.
I think the real problem is that I have lousy self esteem, but how would you know for sure? (maybe I'm just lazy)
On a more immediate note. I just had my lower wisdom teeth removed so now: 1. my face is swollen, and even uglier than normally 2. It's difficult to eat, or speak, or laugh...ouch
