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Decided to travel home for Christmas, will arrive right before the eve and stay for a couple of weeks.

Kind of despairing getting any Christmas presents done to even a few people because I have no time left over for crochet, really. :/

Also, almost done with the good omens exchange fic, only one+ weeks late (have until end of this week... anyone willing to speed-beta it? :') As usual, sex scenes are the worst.

What else... fandom things:
- Saw The Day of the Doctor with some friends and a theater full of Swedish Whovians. Some things made me huff and roll my eyes, but overall it was fairly ok, the bits that didn't feel like a generic action movie anyway. Was ready to dislike Hurt!Doctor and then he was the best, gdi *shakes fist* (also, tintin hair). Also maybe it was seeing it with so many other people who seemed to enjoy even the bitsI didn't but... I kind of reached this acceptance that this might not be my preferred sort of Doctor Who but it is the one we're getting in this time. And maybe someday it'll change again if it keeps going, which, why not?

- About a week later, saw Sylvester McCoy. In Real Life. Should make a longer post about that someday but I'm still not really recovered. Also still not able to believe he is actually a real person. Bwaah.

- Watched Image of the Fendahl. Great dramatic tension and Leela continues to be perfect enough to make me grudgingly accept Four's... Fourness. Wanda Ventham (lady who plays the scientist who gets taken over by the Fendahl, and is also Benedict Cumberbatch's mom) is cute and seems like a sweetie on the making of documentary (like when she mentions being surprised how pretty her fellow male actors were x3). Meanwhile Adam Colby is the sassiest bby and the homoerotic tension between him and Max Stael is a thing of beauty as well. It's not even UST, more like "used to sleep with this guy and he is tttly evil but ohmg so hot"-tension. x3

- Also made people watch Star Trek: The Motion Picture with me. Impossibly, it was more tedious and the costume design more drab than I recalled. Still, we managed to have some fun with at least parts of it. I think.

boring uni stuff )

Things

Nov. 14th, 2013 04:12 pm
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So I was going to start writing last night and then I went to check what it would cost to travel home for Christmas and there was a lot of crying. On one hand, it costs a ridic sum (not as much as in the summer, but then it was a longer visit), I'd only be there three weeks tops AND I need to write a 15 page essay somewhere in there (which I know I'll be bad at while at home)... all in all more sensible to stay here. Then again I've always been with family for Christmas and I've not seen them since last summer and dunno if I'll be going on the next yet so... I do really want to see them. :/ I think I'll talk with my mom about it next time we do...

Tumblr has spoiled me to some new DW developments. Not sure what I feel about that yet.

aaand hopefully I'll actually get to writing today. Can only hope some important plot point become clearer as I write, as right now they are a bit fuzzy. Also was thinking earlier in the shower about how terrifying it is to do things knowing it can and most likely will fail at least in some aspects, and that only becomes worse when it comes to representation and other issues where, if done wrong, you can actively hurt people. But then the only way to get better or get anything DONE in general is to try? (and, you know, do research, listen to people and think things through, but there's only so long you can do that, especially with a looming deadline and life to live...)
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Which was not much as I was still feeling a bit meh but...

- slept late.
- talked with my mom, complained about uni stress which for once made me feel a bit better.

- watched two documentaries, one about the Voynich manuscript that was only mildly sensational. One lady was convinced it was done by Leonardo da Vinci as a child based on... nothing, as far as I could tell. *eyeroll* But at least they admitted it didn't work in real life. Also Edward Kelley was in it! :D Even though they found he likely didn't make it either. The second documentary was about Icelandic sagas but I kind of zoned out on it. Needed more feminist critique, imho.
- Also watched the first part of The Vikings since it was on tv. It's very... movie-y visually? Seemed ok if not great, next time I might actually try to NOT do crochet while I watch...

- Talking about which, finished the matching beret for the scarf, did a bunch of leaves to add to the roses and attached them. And then I tried making a pouch for my cellphone, though it came out a bit too large. Still, I was half testing a garn and model anyway so no big loss.
- And then I cleaned my room slightly since a carpenter might visit sometime this week to look at the wall and/or attach some shelves so I needed to reduce clutter on the table and generally make things less embarrassing.

And now I might try sleeping... maybe. >_>

Update

Oct. 2nd, 2013 05:55 pm
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Feeling much more alive today, have actually dressed up properly and edited two of four home exam papers (due friday). Currently considering walking to center (about 2km) and back to get some stuff. I FEELS like a good idea but I worry I'm overestimating my resources.

Either way, took a bath yesterday! For the first time since I was a kid and could bathe in the plastic children's tub we had. Put in some dried ginger and basil leaves, but I really want to get some actual bath things. Eucalyptus might be nice, if I can find an affordable variant. Now, I think I'll venture to town, and hopefully not cause a setback.
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Sort of tempted to sign up for a fic exchange of some kind, either the Good Omens Holiday Exchange or Yuletide but... not sure it's a good idea with all the uni work and my lingering writer's block. Does it even count as that if it's lasted for over a year? Also not sure how Yuletide works/if there are any fandoms there I could write. >_>

Last day of the first course of Ethnology II was today, just need to edit three papers before friday morning. When we also have the intro for the next bit which will be empirical practice if I'm not mistaken. Hoping for archives rather than having to look for people to interview. Also apparently the target will be an area in the city that was previously a slaughterhouse district...? Which does not sound super interesting but we'll see.

The funny thing about studying in this field (ethnology and sociology and probably to some extent a lot of humanist fields) is that (if so inclined) you can use it to get a glimpse at the structures that aim to make you miserable. Even if I sometimes feel a bit ridiculous using course literature to dissect my own feelings. But I reckon one uses the tools one has, and sometimes it's nice to get a bit of distance to things.

Still sick, but at least I got some painkillers today so I'll be able to sleep when I want to. Last night I rolled about until 3am before I found one last ibuprofen. And then had to wake up at seven, but better some sleep than none. :P
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Seems ok, despite my panicking a bit on the first lesson. Less books to read than actually stood on the literature list, which is good. AGAIN we have a completely different and new form of examination which... ok apparently that's how this institute rolls. Doesn't sound THAT bad, although the work will be divided over the entire course so I can't afford to get lazy at any point. Or, you know, depressed. >_>

Just now I took a picture of what I was wearing and it turned out uncommonly cute
like so )
Reasons I love this sweater: 1)It's always cold in this house. Maybe especially so in my room. 2)The colours and shapes on it make me feel like a poisonous beetle. V. dangerous. Or at least bad tasting. =3=
In addition the pattern forms royal lilies on the arms and back. Like that as well.

Now, I need to decide what to wear for going to actually do stuff...
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Visited Mathilda for most of the week, and there was much film watching on the theme of comedies and/or musicals. In order: Little Shop of Horrors, Barbarella, Släpp fångarne loss, det är vår!, My Fair Lady and Blades of Glory. )
Oh, and I bought The Invasion of Time (mostly so I can be pretty screencaps of Andred, no regrets) and started reading and borrowed Harvest of Time. UNIT BBIES.

Got back to my own lodgings yesterday, and nothing terrible had happened while I was away. Yesterday I went out to buy food, and today, I've washed laundry and done long-overdue banking and other money arrangements I've been too stressed to tackle for months. Vital things still to do: Pay for a Swedish ID card to start the process of getting one, put last year's uni books on sale (and look for new ones), call about a possible job and try not to die(oAo), get proof of studies and send to KELA in Finland and pay for new student card, I think. For starters. But most of these are not things that can be done on a sunday anyway, even if I felt like it.

I *should* probably neaten up the room but I feel like I'll just end up putting things in neater piles as there's nowhere proper to put them and it's not very motivating. Land people have been meaning to put in bookshelves since before I moved, but the bookshelf they got was too big and there's been talk of putting some up on the walls but it hasn't happened. I don't blame them for that but... it would be nice to have actual place for books, and other things too. Maybe I should visit Ikea and try to find boxes and things to store stuff better in what spaces I've got in my room, as the current furniture pretty much fills it up. At most I could maybe fit a tiny shelf under or beside the window and against the wardrobe. Also, could talk about this plan to land people to see if they'd be willing to pay for those things.

Unrelatedly, I looked at the clothes I chose for staying-in-day, and realized I'm basically wearing eighties scifi-casual.
Right? )
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While listening to music:
"Oh, this song doesn't work for any of the (three) playlist I'm already working on but it would be great for X! :D" And then I have two more. :P Currently: General multi-era Doctor/Master, Shalka!D/M, Yates/Benton (using pre-nineties music) and since yesterday 11th Doctor playlist and possibly one for Ben/Polly ... oh, and all last night was spent working on a crack!playlist for Three/Delgado!Master that I intended not for general consumption but we'll see how it turns out. (ETA: Have since finished and am v. proud of it, but IS there even a way to share fanmixes besides 8track these days? And if this one isn't played in order it kind of loses it's point, I feel...)

In other news, went shopping yesterday, got: modelling clay (there was a 4 of anything with one free sale >3>), in colours of mint, translucent red (whatever that means), marble (white with black bits and glitter) and fluorescent. It really glows a radioactive green in the dark! ¤3¤ Also got two different kind of earring bases. I'm a bit concerned how hard the clay is to work with (it's Fimo). After I got home it turned out we also had a bunch of packages of Cernit so. What do I do with all these modelling clays??? Besides making tentacle earrings. And mini foods are always cute too.

Also got some new socks. Overknee (not that they ever stay that high up without rolling down) blue ones and charcoal tights that turned out to have a corduroy-like texture when on. Sooft <3
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Today it was warm and sunny, so myself and my sister E. went to swim in the nearest lake, where we invented water yoga poses (the best one was probably the couch potato, in which one folds their hands behind their head and folds their knees) and practiced a graceful handstand + forward roll in water which I was better at and doing whale imitations which my sister found easier. And then we stood still and tried to get fish to nip at our feet which was pretty easy actually. Though my sister found it kind of creepy, I just felt they tickled a bit, and the cuteness overrode that. Bby fish <3

She's 19 and I'm 26. No regrets.
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So, what have I done last week... nothing productive. I did finally manage to purchase new shoes, which are like my old shoes but black. I didn't even try any other size because I assumed they'd fit me, but now they actually seem to be long enough that the tip bends when I walk and rubs at the top of my toes. I can just hope that'll stop once the leather softens.

Yesterday I scanned a bunch of old pictures, both of me and my parents' childhood/youth. I find class pictures especially interesting for seeing old fashions. Still, I ended up scanning so much I now have a hard time deciding what to post, and I have some older scans too... *sigh* Already posted a few that were just of me on tumblr. Not that I know anyone is even interested in this, but if I worried about that more than I do already I'd never post anything.

Just now I was scrolling back to see if I could find that previous post, but only found a bunch of other old embarrassing posts. Funny seeing that things regularly had +10 comments. And I was just as bad at replying back then as now. Which I honestly feel rather terrible about (now, not much I can do about then). But I leave it off and then it's been so long it seems worse to reply than not...

Oh, and I listened to the first two parts of Welcome to Night Vale the other day when I was feeling really awful. So I'm not sure if it'll work for me or not. Back then I mostly felt sort of tired and melancholic and listening to WtNV didn't change that but... I have to try again in a different mood I guess.
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I mean, I still have bit over a week and only need a skirt. Anyway, going to cosplay human!Bessie at Ropecon (26th-28th)! So basically Edwardian lady with a yellow skirt, presuming I can find suitable yellow fabric... and if I feel it I guess I could try to crotchet a tiny Three.

Today went shopping, tried to find gifts to sisters but didn't find anything fun. Just got some folders and I'll let them pick a squiddie or something. At least K. was complaining she needed more folders and E. will be starting studies in autumn too...

Besides that, found some things on sale at the cheap store (like dollar store but not with dollars? idek). Lemon yellow and warm mint green nail polish and some mint green hair accessories. I like mint green. Also the headband has cherries and strawberries and white lacey patterns on!

talking about nailpolish, I finally got a really nice blue )
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Since last:
- Drew Three and companions in the style of this one. Should do Two as well (at least) before posting but... kind of not inspired? I have an idea but it feels too similar to One's and therefore boring. :I
- Watched a series of documentaries about Italian gardens. Now want to go see Garden of Bomarzo and Gardens of Ninfa. I mean, Romantic historical garden with ACTUAL real roman/medieval ruins. ¤A¤ *sigh*
I guess I put that on the dream list...
- Took pictures of sisters in their graduation dresses and hats. Also got some pictures of myself so mom could have a new one to display.

Also... apparently there is a series about (famous) hotels on tv with Richard E. Grant. An episode was on tv today and the theme was... sex. So basically Richard E. Grant talking about sex a lot. But some of the stuff was pretty sexist. So I'm not sure what to feel. And in that theme, then I got on tumblr and came across this clip of Jon Pertwee getting a massage while lying on a sofa. Apparently naked. And then a ventilator fan falls on him so that kind of spoils the mood but what comes before that is still way too hot why. I.

World stahp. TOTALLY UNRELATEDLY I wonder if it's too late to take a nice cooling walk. EDIT: did, then heard a song on the radio that gave me Yates/Benton feels and now I want to talk about ideas/headcanons I have for them but not actually write fic because that's too hard. Would that be obnoxious though... =~=
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Yesterday I took the train to the community center, which is pretty small potatoes but after being cooped up at home for more than a week it felt very refreshing. Ended an insurance that no longer applied since I moved to Sweden, my sister fixed a bank problem and then we just looked around at the library and shops.

I bought some drawing paper and a tiny bottle nail polish and she found a Doctor Who novel of all things, in the discount bin (for only 5euros). The Clockwise Man by Justin Richards, which is about Nine and Rose in 1920s England. It's a bit weird to read in Finnish, especially when the Doctor uses Finnish slang words. Which made me wonder what sort of "northern" accent he'd have in Finnish anyway. :'D

Also, finally made a selling post for the squiddies and then right after I heard that paypal accounts can get frozen if you try to access them from another country. I don't have a lot of money there atm but I'd rather not lose it, and besides if there's any sales I might need it... I guess I'll worry about that if there's any interest. Also there was another potential problem getting the money from paypal to my normal account, but my brother promised to test it with his.

Meanwhile, while I'm here I have some manga I'd like to sell as well but... that I think I'd rather do in Finland. Not sure where to start though. Somewhere online would probably be most profitable. I'll have to look into it.

Incidentally, yarns I want to buy while I'm here:
One of these "brook"-yarns, saw some of the colours at a dollar store and though I was a bit iffy on the colour combinations they had a lovely smooth feel to them.

Also, while I was looking for them online, came across this "milkshake" series and especially the multicoloured ones seem super adorable. And they're bamboo mix! ¤A¤ (mind, need to get my hands on them to see how they feel irl)

What do you mean I don't need new yarns??? ;=A=;

Update

Jul. 7th, 2013 08:30 pm
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Have done... pretty much nothing, apart from a photoshoot in a lake. I'll just link some of my favourites that I posted on tumblr because I cannot be bothered to post pictures here rn.

Last morning had one of the more unpleasant wake ups, where after two hours of sleep I woke up itchy (I NEED to get hydrocortizon tomorrow when the pharmacy opens again), so overheated I felt like I couldn't breathe, with an itchy throat and my back hurting, possibly from all the diving. Stumbled over to a cooler room and slept on there. Seems my other sister has gone to her apartment/somewhere for now so I'll be able to sleep in an actual bed rather than a mattress in the utility room at least.

Generally, it's been so warm it's hard to concentrate on anything so haven't gotten much done in the first week home. Or anything, really. Not having my own space hasn't helped either, but then I'm lazy at the best of times. Hopefully I'll manage to get a Finnish phone connection soon so I can try to sign up as workforce at a convention a couple of weeks from now. Though it might be too late already. We'll see.
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IOW I survived, despite getting feverish for no apparent reason the day before I had to travel (great timing there). Was most miserable just a bit before I had to go too... but luckily the medication kicked in in time. On the way, I shared a tiny (and ludicrously expensive but can't travel without) cabin with an older woman who had planned to travel alone and started out a bit flustered (though not meanly so) but was later very friendly. She also suggested I should offer to work as an extra at a daycare she also works at in autumn so... possible job? That'd be cool, though we'll see. And then I saw Mariehamn (capital of Åland Islands) which I've passed in the night several times, but usually it was dark and I was in bed. This time it was sunset so I got some pretty pictures.

And then I got home, saw some of family and later slept from 8pm to two in the afternoon... in my defence I had three nights of little sleep and being sick behind me. Still feel tired and headachey but not feverish. While I was gone, my sisters have graduated upper secondary, and got a study place as a confectioner and ...something with tooth prosthetics respectively. Same sister has also grown various plants from (store bought) fruits and vegetables, currently having them from oranges, pepper, avocado, melon and over a metre high cherry tomatoes that already have several raw fruit on them. I don't know how she does it really. Oh, and my brother has bought two guitars and is learning to play but haven't heard that yet, although he was here briefly yesterday.

Finnish tv is still showing Doctor Who, starting with season 7 today... not super enthused but I guess I might as well watch it, especially as my sister will anyway. Might skip Angels in Manhattan though because of reasons... oh, and last night before I went to pass out The Saint (Interlude in Venice from 1966) was on tv and suddenly Patrick Troughton appeared, playing an Italian inspector. :D
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Debated posting because I've mostly been feeling kind of miserable the last two days thanks to period and general depressiveness of things costing too much... but eh (at least I have the dumb ticket home now).

Midsummer's eve (on friday) was actually quite nice. Went shopping in the early afternoon, got some minimal groceries and sunglasses because... uh, they were on sale and when I bought my last ones I was debating between them and others of the type. So now I have two pairs in similar colour and pattern but the new ones are rounder. I am pleased. The fact that Jon Pertwee has very similar ones in one old picture had nothing to do with the matter. Nothing whatsoever.

On the way back the play park on the way was empty so I went to confirm that yes, there is a trampoline there (set over a hole in the ground) and then bounced and also used the giant swing thingy for a bit. After that wasted several hours on http://badlitmakestheworldgoround.tumblr.com/ because nothing is funnier than bad porn.

In the evening I mostly spent time with the family here (have I mentioned I feel a bit like I've been unofficially half-adopted by them? It's very nice. :'D). We ate typical Swedish party foods (pickled herring. Other things too but pickled herring is the Thing) and talked about pretty much everything. At one point, even scifi. I feel the most surreal moment was when I was arguing with my landlady's son over whether the guy who plays Luke in Star Wars was ever good looking or not (I mean, I'm not saying he was super pretty but sort of boyishly cute, surely?). Also I got to talk about classic who at him (he's a new!who fan).

Did manage to catch taiyou_to_tsuki on skype after and... jsyk the thought of mirrorverse evil!Three as the dictator of earth still gives me the vapours there is something wrong with me...

As mentioned, unfortunately nothing much has happened since then because I've been first achy, tired and cranky, slept fourteen hours and then commenced to be in low spirits until... some time ago. Watched some slightly dubious BBC documentaries about ancient Rome (for example, they presented all the bad rumours about Caligula and Nero etc as undisputed fact, is that really ok?) and vegetated on the sofa until I felt up to making some food and after that felt a bit better.
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Which will be mushroom pie again, hopefully it'll
be as good as the last one. Mmm pies. Especially savoury ones. =3= Oh right, better not forget the bacon this time.

Yesterday: Was spent in a fog of misery. Basically, internet didn't work (again) until the afternoon, was feeling generally sucky, went to the forest but ended up too warm and afraid of ticks (at least walking in the long grass) to really enjoy it (although I did get some nice photos), got a terrible craving for bagels and walked to town then realized they're not sold here. :I I tell you when I go back to Finland I will buy a bag of vanilla bagels and eat the heck out of them... Oh and then I found out the trip home will be almost double as expensive as I expected. Urgh. I feel bad for my parents having to pay my... everything.

Today so far I've woken up amazingly early at nine, applied for a few jobs in Finland, talked with mum who said she'll send more money just in case (*sigh*), sent an overdue message regarding a couple of squiddies I'm selling, looked for wild strawberries on the hill above the plot (none, though I saw a lot of blueberry plants, maybe I'll even be back in time to pick those...) and washed laundry and set it up to dry.

So, still failing at life but it doesn't get to me as badly today?
Still haven't dared to look at a... thing I painted the night before last though... =A=
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... I'm bored and felt like babbling.

Rather annoyed at the title of that fic, btw, since I picked it very much in a hurry and later realized I accidentally copied the title of aralias' fic on the same exchange... *sigh* But I still don't really have any other ideas, and it seems awkward to change it now? :/ At least I DID write something and it didn't feel completely horrible. :'D

In other news, went to the red cross second hand down the hill, where it turned out they were having an 50% discount day on everything. Got a tunic (geometric pattern in varying shades of purple, I think), a green t-shirt, some belts (to hold up my various slightly too large pants/shorts) and a grey-black purse that is slightly bigger than my shoulder bag(s) and so might be good for when uni starts again.

Been looking for a pretty, comfortable summer skirt with a wide hem that I could afford, but I haven't even seen many I could have considered. There was one at the second hand today, but it felt a bit tight at the waist (why aren't there any circle skirts with stretchy waist ANYWHERE?) and I already have that problem with the one skirt that would otherwise fit the description, so didn't want to risk ending up with another.

Currently considering if I should make another batch of instant noodles... maybe use two bags this time so I don't get really hungry after a few hours again. >_>
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I visited Sweden to attend a Hetalia meet on the Swedish national day. While I'd traveled here on my own once before that, then I'd done so to visit relatives, rather than on a trip of my own initiative to meet people I'd only spoken to online (if that).

I was surprised when I checked the date on old entries and found it really was *only* four years ago, because it feels like so many of the big things that have happened in my life hinged on that trip... I met two of my current best friends, gained confidence re. traveling and fell in love with Stockholm which inspired me to go on an exchange year which made me realize university, rather than being beyond my academic capabilities, was actually if anything more suited to me than the practical studies I was doing...

So, if I hadn't gone on that trip, my life would probably be very different now. I can't even say how much so? Which is strange to think about.

In less existential news, have finished writing my last home exam for Ethnology I, and going to return it tomorrow. And also attend a job interview, though right now the job doesn't seem very good (even if they do offer it). All I know is that it involves selling some kind of rather expensive event and restaurant guide book to tourists and other people, and that the wage is "variable". All sounds rather ominous. But we'll see.
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Listening to a lovely fog horn duet because apparently they test the general alarms in this area at three o'clock on the first monday of this month or... something. So, if I was a supervillain I'd know when to attack for maximum damage, is all I'm saying.

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